“One
of the most important things in my life as I grew up were family dinners,” said
a friend who seemed to have amazing confidence, as well as the ability to
navigate life with great intention, wisdom, and aplomb.
She
said that each member of her family knew from very early on, that it was his or
she responsibility to arrive at the dinner table prepared to answer two
questions. The first was: what is the most important thing that happened to you
today? The second was: what is the most important thing that happened in the
world today?
You
can imagine how the discussion that ensued helped to develop the family’s
connectedness, but more importantly, each member’s 0wn agency and mindfulness.
Each member had both the responsibility of observing and interacting in the
world around him or her and the task of evaluating what he or she saw, and then
the privilege of sharing that story with the others at the table.
An
eight year old might say the most important thing in her life was catching a
ball during the kick ball game at school. And the most important thing in her bigger
world was that there was a visiting scientist talked about the properties of magnets
in her classroom that day.
But
by 11 or 12 he might be saying that the most important thing in his life was baseball
tryouts. And the most important thing in his bigger world was that a gorilla
had to be shot at the Cleveland Zoo or that Djokovic just won a Grand Slam by
betting Murray in the French Open.
Such
a conversation every night and being responsible for both your part and hearing
what others have to say helps a student, an individual, learn to grow into and be
comfortable with communicating and explaining a position or view, analyzing the
views of others, and questioning the opinions of others. It might also stimulate
curiosity and a search for more knowledge and deeper understanding of topics
that come up. All of these skills are needed for a student who engages fully in
college learning. And what better place to begin to develop and hone them than
in the safe environment of a family dinner?
So
let’s eat together more often. And let’s talk about our observations to each
other. It will make your student all the more ready for college.