Your Essay

What kind of stories can capture the attention of an admission's reader who is reading his 23rd folder of the day? I have probably read more than 5000 admissions essays, which is not many in the scheme of college admissions, but the ones that work for me are those with genuine voices that let me see an awareness of life or expose a self. I remember one story called “Don't get Your Head Down” about a young woman who believed it was her role in life to make sure that others didn't get discouraged. I remember one story called “Kankles” about a young athlete who shot lacrosse goals and philosophized with his friends after practice, while they good-naturedly made fun of his short calves. I remember a story called “Inner Core” from a young woman who worried if she would ever have the inner strength and staying power to maintain a steady course through life. One story called “String of Rubies” described the fear of a young woman who wondered if her artistic ability would do justice to the beauty of the beads she had just purchased with which to craft a necklace.

The SATs have been taken, the grades are in the bag, and the teachers have been sufficiently badgered for recommendations. Now comes the fun part. It's time to write a college essay that makes you stand out from the rest of your fellow applicants.

Jan Rooker, an educational consultant from New Canaan, says the temptation is to write as if you were a committee, just spouting facts. "It's really important to tell something like a story, with a grabber in the beginning," she says. "The qualities about you come through because of the kind of the story that you tell and the details that you pick to tell the story."

She gives two examples: A 16-year-old girl began her essay relating a walk though a mall. She comes across a woman struggling with a large child in a too-small stroller. Recognizing that the child has spina bifida, she offers to give the woman a bigger stroller, which she has at home because her brother also has the disease. "Instead of just stating it, it shows you that she's the kind of woman who will walk up to a stranger and help them," says Rooker.

The other student detailed his first sailing race - in which he flipped his boat three times. "The way he tells it reveals he's very driven, and able to overcome adversity and laugh at himself," she says.

"I once had a student who, after writing his essay, kept coming up to his mother and saying, 'Let me read this to you again, this is so me.' That's what you always hope will happen."

From an article in the Stamford Advocate Finding your Voice By Patrick Verel

"My first piece of advice is to write your essays, not for some imaginary admissions officer or faculty member at the other end, but for yourselves, or for a favorite relative, or roommate. Write it for anyone other than that admission person whom you've come to convince yourself holds your life in his or her hands. That brings me to my second piece of advice. When you write your essay, consider simply telling a story . . . "

--Fred Hargadon, Former Dean of Admissions, Princeton University